💛

last week, ada one of my member ajak lepak. dari petang sampai ke malam ajak  tapi tak gerak gerak pun hahahaha. then, around 10pm tu, dia ajak lepak mcd. then, i just cakap "cari la kereta sewa, nanti aku bayar". then, tak sampai berapa mins,  dia ws kata kereta dah dapat. then tanya on tak on? disebabkan i kebosanan dekat kolej, so apa lagi kan. then, dia ambik dekat luar uitm and kitorang over night. at first, rasa tak percaya cam boleh keluar dengan dia sebab dia bukan nya member class or member rapat gegila ke apa. just selalu ws macam tu je tp tak pernah tegur ha. tp sumpah laaaaaa first time,  keluar dengan lelaki tak rasa awkward langsung. kitorang tengok wayang cerita IT then lepak mcd sampai esok pagi. he really a good guy, chill and cool, sports guy, tan skin hehehe, but he smoking lol, its ok la yang tu tp paling penting dia ada sense ha. yang tak minat sangat kat dia ni sebab dia nak orang yang decide semua and dia ikut je lol hahahaha but srsly i rasa selesa gila dengan dia yang sampai rasa tak payah nak acah acah malu ke segan ke ha. i just being myself whenever i with him 💛

how we know that we in love?

suddenly, i don't know how feel to be in love with someone . tiba tiba rasa kosong je hati ni hm people said you will remind someone that you love once you wake up from your bed tapi sometimes i don't even remember him. tiba tiba dia ws and i will be like "oh dia ws wish morning" . how my pure heart suddenly became a cold hearted one. i asked my mum, how do you know if you love someone? "you want to be with him all time, want to married him, want to have child with him". but how could i don't even have that feelings.

sometimes it's not we don't want to love that person anymore, but suddenly that feelings disappear

 i don't know if after him go, i will still in love with anyone anymore. maybe because 'that' person, i don't believe anymore about true love. if you want to ask, didn't i feel guilty make him like this ? my answer is of course i feel guilty. i feel guilty as hell. but it's not that i want it to be this way. who want to hurt someone that love you so much. i don't know anymore. i feel so hopeless right now.